What did the drummer get on his IQ test?

When people find out I'm in a band, I have a habit of clarifying. "I'm not a musician, I'm a drummer", I'll say. It's a joke (and one that usually gets a laugh), but in a way I don't really consider myself a musician. If someone were to say "Play me a song", the best I'd be able to come up with is a rhythm on my legs (and apart from "Wipe Out", drum parts are often difficult to recognize out of context). Not exactly sittin'-'round-the-campfire fare. I envy real musicians; ones that can pick up a guitar or sit at a piano at a party and immediately start to entertain the gathering throngs.

I wanted to be Peter Criss. Most kids my age wanted to be someone in KISS, but most of them gave up on that dream by the time Dynasty came out. Not me. My dad got me my first drum set for Christmas in '78 so when Dynasty came out in '79 I was ready to play along. My cousin Chip (now Charlie) got his guitar that same Christmas and we'd get together over summer vacations and play whatever he'd learned (remember that I am not a musician so I could fake my way through any song, as long as it was in standard 4/4 time).

As my taste in music changed so did how I played. The first band I was in that played original music was called Equilibrium. It was formed the summer I graduated high school on Long Island by myself, my friend Glenn (vocals) and his classmate Chris (guitar). I cannot recall the bass player's name, but he didn't come to practice often anyway. It didn't last long (we weren't very good), but we managed to write 3 songs (I think) and learn some fairly complicated covers (Triumph's "Fight The Good Fight", Styx' "Queen Of Spades" and Led Zeppelin's "The Ocean" among others). After we broke up I continued to play when I could. I set up my drums in my room but my mother would complain that they took up too much room (which they did). By then I was dating a girl whose brother played drums so I didn't need mine set up all the time anyway.

My interest in progressive rock led me to New Jersey and the next real band I was in, Self Portrait (along with cousin Charlie). We played songs by bands no one but us had heard of (I don't think Austin, the bass player, had heard of most of the bands before): Twelfth Night, Pendragon, Pallas, IQ, and in 1985 we learned Marillion's entire Misplaced Childhood album. We also wrote an album's worth of original material which, for a bunch of 20 year olds, really wasn't bad at all. So for about a year I traveled from Long Island to New Jersey for rehearsals, sometimes going straight to class on Monday morning from an all-night practice/recording session. In July of '86 we played one gig (my first ever) at The Haunt in Ithica, NY. We broke up shortly after that, disillusioned that no one was interested in our interpretation of English neo-prog rock.

Ashes, another progressive rock band but based on Long Island, followed in '88. All original material this time, and I got bit by the playing-live bug big time. We managed to draw a slightly larger audience than Self Portrait did and at smaller venues, so it seemed more like a "crowd". Ashes led to my first studio recording which was an enjoyable experience but didn't make a huge impression on me.

After the demise of Ashes in early '90 I stored my kit in the attic and had resigned to the fact that I probably wouldn't play in another band. Then in February of '91 I got a call from Charlie to sit in with his jangly-pop outfit, Count 210, for a set they had booked at The Stone Pony. They'd unceremoniously sacked their drummer and needed someone ASAP. How could I turn down an opportunity to play such a legendary club? I couldn't, obviously, and shortly after that gig I was commuting back and forth to New Jersey again for rehearsals. Come the end of '91 and I moved to New Jersey for good. Count 210 lasted about 6 years after that. In the interim I played with various bands in the area, including Happysad (which Charlie was also in). My drums were permanently set up for the first time at home and between that and playing in no less than 2 bands at once, I was gettin' pretty good. Lots of recording was done during those years, and the studios we worked in were friendly enough to allow me to tweak the knobs while we mixed. My interest in engineering grew exponentially.

By the end of '97 I was once again bandless, but through the insistence of former Happysad bassist Michael, he, Charlie and I founded what is now Digger Phelps. Charlie had shared singing and songwriting duties with the female bass player in Count 210 and this new band was to be his true creative outlet. More than 10 years (and 4 former members) later, DP still exists, but on a smaller scale than I think any of us are happy with. We recorded a CD with bass player Carl (also ex-Happysad), released in 2001, and have another fully recorded with bass player Brian, which is just waiting to be mixed (possibly by your's truly).

Somewhere around the middle of 2000 I was asked to join Frankenstein 3000. Once again, our inaugural gig was at The Stone Pony. F3K's sound is harder edged than any other band I've been in, but based in 70s punk and glam, a sound I'm perfectly comfortable with. Not as dynamic as Digger Phelps, but we all need an outlet for our frustrations, and F3K fits that bill nicely for me. I've lost track of all of our recording sessions, but suffice it to say there have been a lot. Again, I've paid close attention at those sessions to someday be able to record and mix myself. I've mixed songs here and there for DP, F3K and a few for Gin House Bandits, a project with my brother-in-law. I've also been mixing the drums for F3K's last 2 records and all of the compilation tracks we've done for the past 2 years. It's tough to imagine the sound of the rest of the instruments, but I've gotten the hang of it. In fact, that's what I'm working on right now. F3K has decided to re-record 9 of the songs from our 2 original albums (we've done 2 cover records as well), add another 6 and put it out by the end of August. That means I've got 15 drum tracks to mix and I'm really putting everything I've learned into it. I gotta say, they're sounding better than anything I've done before (and I would hope that's the way things go... I'd hate to think I'd be getting worse at it). I found some isolated John Bonham drum takes from Led Zeppelin's In Through The Out Door (ain't the internet grand?) and I'm kinda using those as a template... cuz, ya know, they don't suck.

Throughout the years I've done some session work, including a CD by Christopher Dargis (former leader of Happysad) and an upcoming CD by ex-Frankenstein 3000 guitarist Johny Dey (I may play with Johny when he's ready to do full-band live shows... depends on my schedule). I've also done short stints with Mars Needs Women, Bad Biscut, Home To Henry and Shawn Mars.

I consider myself very lucky to have played with such talented artists and perform in front of so many people. I've been on lots of CDs (mostly tribute albums to bands I hadn't paid much attention to until I had to learn one of their songs) so someday I'll be able to show my son what I've accomplished in that regard. Sure, it woulda been nice if I'd reach the heights* of my original inspiration, Peter Criss, but I've taken what I could get and have enjoyed every minute of it.

*Get it? Cuz his drum riser used to go up about 25 feet in the air! Ha ha ha ha ha!